Fish In Orbit!

2012-01-26T06:37:00.000+08:00

Never wanted things to turn out this way... Its time to create a new page to blog to myself

2012-01-24T06:30:00.001+08:00

Cant stop thinking. Cant stop tearing.

2011-12-10T02:19:00.003+08:00

Sometimes i really do wonder why I'm never good enough

2011-11-20T23:20:00.001+08:00

Free falling

2011-11-09T06:50:00.001+08:00

Perfect Match

2011-10-31T00:28:00.001+08:00

We found love in a hopeless place - Rihanna

2011-10-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

Slowly but surely, I'm becoming a happier person.

2011-10-22T19:46:00.003+08:00

2011-10-20T22:07:00.000+08:00

Happy that I made you happy... Hope you liked it

2011-10-19T23:21:00.001+08:00

Every single time, my heart drops

2011-10-16T11:12:00.001+08:00

You could be my it girl

2011-09-24T02:34:00.000+08:00

Believe and try to have faith, it'll make things easier.

2011-09-05T03:05:00.000+08:00

I don't want to leave you, we just got started. Its just not fair.

2011-08-31T14:21:00.000+08:00

Funny how its the friends you trust the most that also judges you the most.

2011-08-24T01:10:00.001+08:00

Every Breath - Boyce Avenue
It sounds like this is nothing new and that it hasn't
been for awhile
You wake up on the other side and you strain to force a
smile
The fairytale inside your head has become your new best
friend
But I can assure you, that I'll be there before the
story ends

'Cause when I needed a place to hang my heart
You were there to wear it from the start
And with every breath of me, you'll be the only light I
see

I'm racing to the finish line of a lifetime that's
barely started
The piece of my mind I left behind, I pray you keep in
your perfect garden
You waited on the minute hand and the countdown to last
for days
But I'm here to tell you, it won't be long before I'm
here to stay

2011-08-10T01:54:00.000+08:00

Feels like I'm left hanging.

2011-08-04T05:49:00.000+08:00

I think I'm a phase.

2011-07-29T06:08:00.002+08:00

Need to remind myself once again:

This is the time of our lives, live it to the fullest.
Be smart, be stupid, be irresponsible, be childish, be retarded, be fun, hug, kiss, love, hate, fight, shout, scream, laugh, and smile. Look back at your life and know that there is a story to tell. Memories to treasure, people to keep.
Just dont wanna look back and realise my life is ordinary, you know...

2011-07-17T23:55:00.001+08:00

Once again, i feel used

2011-07-15T16:18:00.001+08:00

My heart's a stereo
It beats for your, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note

Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

To my stereo
So sing along to my stereo

I only pray you never leave me behind
Because good music can be so hard to find
I take your hand and pull it closer to mine
Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind

2011-07-08T16:54:00.003+08:00

2011-07-08T06:33:00.000+08:00

fuck my heart is still beating quickly

2011-07-06T11:14:00.000+08:00

Now comes the hardest part

2011-07-05T03:33:00.001+08:00

Its so difficult trying to look okay in front of eveyone. But i shall continue trying.

2011-07-02T05:57:00.000+08:00

not just a coward ah, more like douchebag

2011-06-28T03:50:00.001+08:00

I think i'm a coward

2011-06-27T03:48:00.002+08:00

There's a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch thats bringing me out the dark

Bloody bad thoughts ah, better knock it out of your head. Its never gonna happen.

Anyway diving was fun.

Just had a reaccuring thought that one can nv be content, ppl always yearn for something more.

Extraordinary > Ordinary

Live life to its fullest, sadly i can't say i'm doing that.

I wonder whether i'm happy, kinda forgot how it felt like.

2011-06-14T04:17:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder why i gave a damn in the first place... You bother about whats happening with your friends and how they are feeling, only to realise they are lying to you in the first place. Waste of both my time and feelings. Sods.

P.S i thought my blog was private but i just realised its not. I know you're out there ZHIXIAN!!!! knn better keep this a secret hor, even infront of our group pls, if you dont mind ;)

2011-01-15T05:51:00.002+08:00

Hello there, I have officially turned 20 years old. The big 2!

Its been a long while since i wrote anything worth reading or taking into consideration.

However, i feel that there is no other way to say what i really want to and thus, blogging would be my only solace for now. I'm entering the army and finishing up with school, leaving behind many fond memories with beautiful people. Though, life has a way of telling you straight in the face, that things are not what it seems. Things get complicated, they get messy, fragile, unsolvable, destructive. People get angry, depressed, compulsive. They break down, they hate, they become nonchalant. The entire world seems to think that the rest of world owes them. Quoting a phrase one of my friends twittered, "If they do not bother, why should I". This to me, is incredibly screwed up. Imagine if the entire world thinks that way. No one would bother and put in an effort for one another. We picture a gorgeous community with lots of love and giving. However, how are we supposed to achieve that if we can't even learn to forgive and seriously forget about that past. The hardest part of ending is starting again, yes, but it can be done, with effort no doubt. Is it that difficult to remember the good times? My best friends have been there for me since the start, and are still here. It takes effort, we forgive and quickly start enjoying ourselves again. I detest complications and conflict among friends. It's just too... tiring...

So much for my 20th huh, all i wanted was just for everyone to get along together, that was my wish, when i cut the cake.

2010-11-01T03:19:00.000+08:00

When you love someone, can you bear to leave them?

2010-10-29T01:19:00.002+08:00

Dear J,

I miss you, these are the words that first come to mind when I hear your name. You have absolutely no idea how much. It is heart-wrenching, it kills me. All I picture when I lie in bed is you, all I think about is you. Its eating me up from inside and it is depressing. Whenever I see you in school, I'm reminded off what is and what it used to be. Things could have been so much different. Things could have been so much better for the both of us. I really wish, with all of my heart, that things could be the way it used to. Sleeping over, driving to school together in the morning, singing in the car, playing with the dogs. The illustrations that run through my head are of hope. Of us cuddling under the sheets, mouthing of about the world, and how things are gonna be. Talking about everything under the stars and what life is about. I honestly saw a future, a happy one. I was happy, believe me.

However, you seem adamant on leaving this, us behind. I've never really been of the emotional sorts in front of you because it's something that you don't like to see. Something that you have never really appreciated. You've always preferred me being straight forward and you hated it when I beat around the bush. After a year, I can safely say that I know almost everything about you. And whenever I do something that we used to enjoy doing together, I'm reminded once again that I do not possess the luxury of asking you out for a swim, a movie, tennis, dinner or spending time with you after class. I'm reminded once again that I do not have you...

I do not think that I am weak. I just don't understand how you can go from loving someone with all your heart, to becoming nothing. I always thought we were special, you were my best friend, you were my everything. And now that you're gone, everything just... went along with...
I never wanted things to end up this way. I never fathomed you leaving. It never crossed my mind. And now, that it's happened, I'm at a loss for what to do. It's like I've been thrown into the middle of a crossroad and I have completely no idea which direction to walk towards.

I really miss you J...
K

2009-09-06T07:16:00.002+08:00

You have no idea how hard it has been for me.
No one does.
Not even close.
I don't want to be judged.
But it seems as though I'm already in the process
of losing faith and trust from people i hold dearest.
And because of this,
I love and hate you so, so much...

2009-09-06T07:13:00.001+08:00

You try to make me jealous.
Honestly, its working.
And i hate it
I simply do.

2009-07-17T18:43:00.001+08:00

Hello. I've been posting more on fishinorbit.tumblr.com =) Kinda lazy to use blogger alr =/

2009-06-25T12:12:00.001+08:00

Happy 400th Day =D

Oh and i got my license =)

2009-06-18T08:45:00.002+08:00

Your friends are calling me when i'm asleep.
You don't reply my messages.
You never let me know when you're home safely
This is why i hate it when you go drinking.
Tell me how the hell am i supposed to concentrate on my TP later.

2009-06-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

I've never been this afraid in quite awhile.
My throat is dry, i feel like running away.
I just found out from my brother that they are asleep.
But the last thing he heard from dad was "what the fuck".
He's furious.

2009-06-09T14:05:00.002+08:00

So far, i've spent my life trying to figure out the meaning of existence.
I think that when i'm nearing my end, i would realize that this is it, nothing more.
Maybe figuring out the meaning of life, is life.

2009-05-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

one more day till our first year together.
Ecstasy

2009-05-10T15:56:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since i've blogged because my notebook's motherboard was burnt and LCD screen crack. So i'm here now sitting with my new Macbook =)
But in this mess i've lost approximately 3 - 4 thousand songs.
I'm not in a really good mood right now? but last night at Serene's place was fun. Rico and I took turns to drive around Thomson. Damn fun. Photos are on fb.

Sometimes i don't believe you.

2009-04-26T23:55:00.002+08:00

The weekend went by quickly...
I'm trying my best to print notes for school but something is wrong with the links in Mel. I can't seem to load last week's tutorials and lectures notes for a certain module. Also something is wrong with my printer or PowerPoint. Every time i try to print something, PowerPoint jams. Lastly, i have problems turning my notebook on. After i pressed the power button, the screen remains black. Sometimes it emits beeping noises. I would need a hell of a number of tries to power it up.
Why is it when i want to study, i can't (Because of printer la mother mother). And when i don't want to, i can.

2009-04-23T00:53:00.004+08:00

Monday was the first day of school.
Monday was also Vannessa's and my a month before our first year together.
Tuesday Vannessa and I went to JCC for a game of tennis! Well actually we were picking up the balls more than we should.
Time passes quickly and we're all in year 2. Familiar faces come around now and then and it feels nice talking to people i haven't seen over the holidays. My parents are going to Perth tmr i think. I wanna blog more but i'm really tired and i think i should sleep.
Tennis with ex classmates was fun hahaha.
Oh btw, who is retaking Micro huh, sit tgt in lecture pls.

2009-04-17T23:28:00.002+08:00

I passed my Final Theory =)
Practical in August. I really want my damned license.

2009-04-12T13:56:00.004+08:00

The car i really wish to drive, more than a Porsche, more than a Ferrari, okay maybe as much as the Ferrari, would be a 1969 Ford Mustang Shelby.

I waited 3 hours for Vannessa yesterday. Suicide.
Do you know that feeling... like when you're waiting for something or someone. But inbetween in that time span, you don't know what to do. You end up walking around aimlessly at a loss.
So i ended up at kinokuniya, walked around.
I ended up looking at books on Obama. There was this picture on the back of TIMES showing his feet up on the table. It focused on the soles of his leather shoes, they were very much worn out. Really interesting picture of the President.
Below that magazine was another one of his books, titled " The Audacity of Hope". Nice name.
The wait was long but it was worth every minute.

2009-04-10T01:33:00.005+08:00

Today's bus ride home was the longest in quite awhile.
I've never felt so afraid in a very, very long time.
I've always known what would/could happen in the future.
I've always had a plan for everything, well almost.
But for the past 13 hours, i really couldn't find a solution or suitable outcome.
I can't tell whats going to happen and how this complication would turn out.
And that's the part that really gets me.
I'm sure you feel the same way.
I miss you already.
please call me...

Anyway i wanted this to be a nice post... honestly.
Below was my intended, initial post.

Photography sessions uno.
(Am learning/trying out my telephoto lens)

And lastly, the face i miss the most right now.
Well, a quarter of it anyway.

2009-04-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

One of my favourite PhotoBlogs of all time.

Julien Roumagnac

It even give you the specs on how it was taken. One word, Awesome.

2009-04-03T23:27:00.004+08:00

If anyone read the papers today, they wouldn't have missed this.

"North Korea will attack Japan's targets if they choose to intercept it's missile."

Something along those lines. You see, what is happening is that North Korea said that it was going to launch a communication satellite between the 4th to 8th of April and that it would "fly over" Japan. The thing is, Washington thinks that it may be a disguise to test a long-range ballistic missile. Which would mean that Japan may be in quite a deep pile of shit.
Naturally, Japan's appropriate reaction would be to prepare in case they get attacked; so they set up counter measures and such.
Funny that even after much moral suasion from Japan, NKorea still wants to continue it's launch. The thing that i really want to point out here is this, North Korea will take it as an act of war if their launch was intercepted (thus the title). If there is a war, the whole world would be drawn into it.
I'm entering NS in 2 years -.-

But my brother said Japan would be okay, because they can cycle through Malaysia again =)

2009-04-01T20:25:00.003+08:00

I don't know when it was suggested and by whom, but cycling to west coast is not really the best idea in the world. You see, we were so damn bored because we've practically done everything entertaining in Singapore.
Chengyong looked like a China worker, the hair and the bike with a basket in front hahaha.
Joel had a monstrous bike which had to much power.
My bike had 2 tires that weren't inflatable.
We rushed to West Coast as Serena was waiting for us there, we took the Jurong Town Hall Road/ West Coast highway route. Incredibly lengthy, we took about an hour to get there and by the time we did, i was shit tired. Had nice talk by the sea and on the way back at Clementi Bus interchange, my tire gave way... it was making a crazy irritating sound due to thick rubbing turning on cement.
No really, i suspect that the tubing in the back wheel somehow imploded because of all the stress it had taken in this past few years. And because I'm heavy..
So i was stubbornly riding back with the 2 guys watching my back in case my bike really really died. It was damn difficult to move, felt like the back tire was just a metal wheel. I couldn't take it after awhile and decided to walk, singing to the song's on Cy's phone. It was really nice. After Joel's place, i tired to cycle again. That was when my gear gave way... I really think i need a new bike... The walk home was long but somehow refreshing.
Joel dared to suggest Vivo as our next destination. Why don't you just die boy.
.

.

.

.

.

.

2009-03-28T01:18:00.005+08:00

I know you say that i'm usually the one who doesn't understand or the one who doesn't know how to comfort you. But do you know that when i feel sad sometimes, you aren't so different. I try not to trouble you with anything, so that you can stay happy and cheerful for the rest of the day. Even when i feel down, i try to make you feel better, happier. I try, i try but its never enough.
I'm sick, headache, got items stolen, i couldn't breathe properly during football because my airway was jammed. On my way home it rained heavily on me.
Do you know how a day like this makes a person feel?
Somehow it always turns out to be about you, even though i'm in need of comforting.
Every time i get mad, i always end up feeling worse about making you feel sad.
Do i not make you feel appreciated?
Because i really want to know whether its just me.
.
Anyway I'm hitting the gym with the guys tomorrow and going for a swim after. I need to get a little stamina back.
.

2009-03-24T21:04:00.002+08:00

I forgot to mention my results were okay! =) i had an AD and i passed everything else, though barely. 2 B, 1 C and 2 D+. Not that bad for me la ahahaha im happy.

2009-03-24T00:50:00.003+08:00

Okay Bintan was nice! I would totally go there with Vans or friends for some water sports and beach fun =) There's archery and such, oh the food at the resort was good too; everything has standard.
Today we rented Twilight. It was really good, i close description to the book i think but i only read less than a quarter because it really isn't that fantastic. I was so worried Vannessa would fall in love with Edward because so far i heard every girl has. There was a phrase on fmylife.com that stated the following,
"Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML"
Yeah she couldn't escape him, OH EDWARD IS SO HOT, OH EDWARD, EDWARD IS SO CHARMING. His bloody smile can win over my relationship in a snap.
Nvm i'll win her back, i'll go for plastic surgery.
Driving tomorrow, yay =)

2009-03-20T02:37:00.002+08:00

A quick one.
Happy 10th month anniversary love =)
I never knew we'd be this perfect for each other, korny as it sounds, i mean it.
I'm going to bintan later for 2 days. Leaving in the morning, which is now actually, 7am.
Results are tomorrow, 9am, i don't know if i would be able to receive it them.
This will make or break.
Shit i'm anxious =/
emotions are running on edge.

2009-03-13T13:22:00.003+08:00

So its been quite awhile since i've blogged, 10 days actually. Kinda busy here and there with my driving lessons and all. Its terrible traveling to Eunos everytime. And its incredibly tiresome to drive 2 hours straight without a break. By the end of my lessons i'd always have a headache and feel sick. Simply because i don't eat and drink; late. On a lighter note, i've been doing better. I roughly know how to handle the clutch and gear properly now. So i'm quite satisfied.
Will continue blogging tonight. Busy now.

2009-03-03T23:39:00.003+08:00

Guess who just had his Provisional Driver's license done =D
I little more till the real thing. I just can't wait.
Vans and I are going to the Science center tomorrow! again.. we just went today, like a little walk around outside, and sat on this Morphis ride in the Omni-theater which cost 4 bucks per person and it lasted 4, 5 minutes. Cheap thrills. So we have decided to go back to science center to have a walk inside and then go over to the theater again to watch this Sea Monsters thing. They have MASSIVE creatures since 82 Million years ago. Quite interesting.

2009-03-03T11:30:00.002+08:00

Vannessa's fever reached 39.7 degrees by the time we reached the doctor yesterday.
Hugging her was like being in a sauna
and I've never had a hotter kiss in my life. ha
I was taking care of her like there was no tomorrow, patting her forehead with ice cold towels, bringing her food i bought from the market while she stayed home, putting her to sleep, helping her take her meds. Hope she feels better.
And hope i get treated the same way today because i can feel her virus spreading. Its starting with my throat.

2009-02-28T02:29:00.004+08:00

The holidays have begun =)
I'll be waking up to orange sunsets and living once they're down.
Did i mention i passed my BTT in 10 minutes =DD
Went to PLAY Thursday night. I'm still suffering from the lack of sleep. I have football tomorrow morning. I'm sick =/

2009-02-23T23:38:00.004+08:00

After blogging last night, i ended up at Vannessa's place to study. I suddenly felt uneasy, like, the fear kicking in. I kenna questioned by her security guard like one criminal just because she didnt want to come down or let me call her place to unlock the door. In fact, she was already sleeping by the time i got there. I had so much trouble in the early morning. But it was worth studying with her through the night. My second in 3 days without sleep. We hopped to KAP in the morning where she had this sudden burst of energy. Jumping around, smiling so much.
Thank you for pushing me to study. I doubt i would if you didn't
Random fact: 4 red bulls cost $7.80 from the 7-eleven here
.
Serena came by to meet me at macs after Vannessa started her paper. Haziq was there too, and his friend. Wah we really study like i nv study before, besides stats la.
Thanks na! For helping so much, staying up with me through the night too. Teaching me subjects you aren't even taking =) best friend ah! This Thursday! hehehehe
.
So the paper went well actually, i hope. If i all goes well i should get about a B.
Ended with a splitting headache and a loss for all sense of my surrounding. So i cabbed home, no choice. Went up, showered, popped a few asprins and knocked out.
.
I felt a soft hand on my arm. warm breath on my back, familiar smell. I knew who it was, i held the hand and turned. I was so happy. Couldn't see the emotion through the sleepiness though.
She came close to 10pm from the east, expensive cab fare. Just so that she can make sure i'm okay. The thing is... she didn't sleep either...
You make me feel so taken care of.
I love you so much.
You have no idea how it feels to know you care.
Thank you =)
.

2009-02-23T01:08:00.001+08:00

Today's paper, utmost importance. Failure will result in my dismissal from school.
Ahh... what a fine day...

2009-02-21T13:23:00.004+08:00

I spent half of yesterday studying around Vannessa and Ruiyi while they edited their work.
Went to catch Slumdog Millionaire but it was pretty packed. So we ended up watch the pink panther 2. A little comical here and there, a feel good movie but nothing special.
After the movie we went home where i prepared to leave the house to study. So i picked Serena from her place to kap to do some hardcore last minute memory work.
I had a total of 3 cans of red bull and 2 iced lattes in order to stay awake. But still i was falling asleep during the paper, blanking out. This is what happens when you don't start studying earlier. I never learn my lesson.
Thanks Serena for teaching me Stats. I don't really know if i can pass, but if i do its probably thanks to you. Which means i won't have to stay back for 6 more months. Which would also be thanks to you. So thank you! =)
Okay I'm shit tired I'm going to slug on the floor.

2009-02-20T01:31:00.003+08:00

Today....

Today.

TODAY I FOUND OUT I SPENT A WHOLESOME MAGNIFICENT SPECTACULIAR SUM OF $500

AT VIDEO EZY...

$500...

Why like that...

Thats not it, it seems that their most patriotic customer has spent $6000 in total. I mean, wahlao... how can......

I guess it's a lot like saving. Shit who am i kidding?

Okay anyway my exams are starting on Saturday. Business stats, if i fail, i will retain for 6 more months. And if i fail macro, i will get expelled. Talk about pressure huh.

Happy 9th =)

I'm sorry all the studying has been clogging up our days. But know that i love you very very much!

2009-02-19T11:43:00.003+08:00

"I'm losing my sense of urgency. It seems that as I get closer
to the final day, i'm losing my sense of urgency. What now?"

2009-02-15T22:28:00.012+08:00

I hope you dance.

Woke up a little later than expected...

Uneasiness in my stomach, her first valentine's and i've got nothing.

Only the little surprise i had for her in the morning. So i took my time and got ready, no need to rush, i'd just forget stuff.

Picked up flowers and went over to her place.

Up the elevator, familiar dog barking everytime i step out the door.

Placed the enormous brown package around the stairs, inside containing a CD, photo frame with us in it.

Dashed some dried scented flower petals for fun.

I left her a message asking her to come over to the stairs while i rushed away like a kid to the floor below. "So stupid", i was thinking to myself.

Went down to our tree to wait, wait for her to open up the package, to find the CD; a photo montage (Which i put in a lot of effort in creating), that'll instruct her to come down to where i was.

On the way to the tree, i left flowers along the path, hung between railings, along the floor where i was standing. Its her first, i had to make an impression.

Waiting, 2 minutes, 5, 10. I messaged her, 'sms me when you're coming down'. Another message ' Got it?', for the package. Finally a reply, "Sorry my phone was in my room, i just got your package." WAH LAO I WAIT SO BLOODY LONG ALR YOU STILL #%*&@# nvm... so i continued stoning.

I was sitting underneath the burning sun when an Indian uncle came along, the leaf sweeper i suppose. Came over, looked at me all dressed up, looked at the flowers scattered all over the floor, gave me the "what the hell is this" face, -.- AHAHA I SWEAR BLOODY COMICAL, to me anyway, amidst the anticipation, it was something to smile at. I pointed up to her place, "waiting for my girlfriend." He smiled, and walked away, apologising.

I wondered if she'll think im stupid. I sat awhile longer, "coming now", finally, i stood up, tucked in my shirt, adjusted my collar, no mirror, shit. Didn't matter, i saw a head pop out afar, from the side, I smiled. She tread down the stairs, picking up the roses i placed so meticulously, walked slowly towards me. Teary eyed, hands over her mouth. I thought "Am i that unattractive? Oh well...".

She hugged me, i took the white rose out from behind my back, placed it in between us.

I choked.

choked...

muttered...

Will you be my Valentines?"

"...Yes..."

That was the hardest part of all, it doesn't seem like much but it felt like a lot of work to me. I guess it's because i don't usually go the extra mile for Vday.

So, since i didn't have a plan, we had to make things up as we go along, i tried to look like i knew what we were going to do next. I felt like such a big loser. So we booked a table in Brazil down at sixth avenue and i brought her to this secret place of mine, where you get the best view of Singapore.

This was my favourite part.

It's quite hard to get to, we walked all the way from raffles city, made her hike in her heels. Am very sorry love.. i hope the view was worth it. Stayed there for awhile, it wasn't sunny, kinda hazy, it added a little soft feel to the whole thing.

This was the view.

Flyer was right behind us.

I had a lot of fun up there.

Stayed up there for quite awhile, proceeded to Brazil after that, ATE LIKE A MONSTER! I've always loved Brazil. Always... i've been going there since i was Primary 5. At one point almost weekly. Food is really good, even after all this time i'm still not bored of it.

After dinner we were both rather tired, the long walk and all killed my legs. So i sent her back instead of carrying out my fireworks, bomb bags and party poppers plan.

Oh well, i really wanted to play with the fireworks, i bought 6 packs =/

But its okay... i hope she enjoyed Valentine's day.

Anyway, that was it! It really wasn't much, i'm not like some rich kid who can bring her to an island of his own, fill her house magically with a thousand roses, booked the entire esplanade rooftop for the evening or even just placing her on a yatch. I know i'm not the best around but i try... I really hope i made your first Valentines a little something more than expected, maybe even close to special.

I love you.

HERE ARE SOME RANDOM PHOTOS.

Alright its a super long post i will stop now goodbye!

For a better version of this post and our vday, go to pickmeadaisy.blogspot.com.

She just writes better...

2009-02-14T00:55:00.004+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day love.

Its been close to 9 months and i don't feel as though we've lost anything. I've never regretted this... and i know i never will...

I'll my best to make you happy today =)

hope everything works out.

We did a little cooking! Cheese toast, bratwurst from germany and Ikea meatballs!
.

2009-02-10T22:18:00.000+08:00

"Nothing beats the morning drag"

2009-02-09T13:17:00.005+08:00

IT FEELS GOOD TO BE CLUBBING AGAIN.

As recommended by Adam, nothing does it like a nice Jagerbomb.

I decided to give myself a break from the final projects and all the studying. Okay actually there wasn't and studying involved, but i believe i've done pretty well for the projects; a lot of time and effort put in.

I'm quite scared i won't stop going though. We're already discussing where to go on thursday night, pretty much know where. The old place, my first place, the usual, well i won't mention the location.

Oh and Vannessa appeared next to me on my bed at about 10.15am. I only slept at 6 a.m-.-

But she was really nice. And nothing in the world beats waking up next to her.

2009-02-07T00:51:00.006+08:00

Happy Birthday Melody =)

CATS is finally over and done with. Teacher said a probable B+, which is quite okay considering us pulling work outta our asses. 5 minutes before the start of the presentation we were still going to print out slides and reflections. 15 minutes before i was still drawing figures and evaluations on vanguard sheets. It went well la.

I really happy the last presentation is over and done with. Now to focus on Bstats, Macro and ITB. And at 8.00 am today, i have to be in school for S&W till 12pm. What a way to waste my saturday. Can't catch up with sleep.

Went to meet Brenda and Jasmine at Vivo in the evening. It was really nice catching up... after a year. So Brenda is taking her O levels this time round, better study.

But i was really nice meeting up again.

Why aren't you picking up my call.

I can't even tell if you're safe. This is why i behave the way i do when you say you're going to party and drink.

Plus i have to sleep because of school tomorrow.

Your friends aren't answering either.

I'm always worried like this. I know i'll get sick of it.

You're not making this easy.

2009-02-05T22:22:00.011+08:00

People should smile more

- Newton Faulkner

A little interesting song i came across a while back.

Fun, bubbly, happy go lucky. Click play la people =)

Alright! So i'm finally done with Business Communication! Final 20% presentation, as usual i thought i could've done better. Especially during the question and answer section. Oh well, at least its over. However we all have to look forward to Business Communication TWO, which would begin the start of the next semester. -.- Supposedly tougher.

So after BComm, Melody decided to take class photos and we jammed up level 6's corridor. I was the photographer =) I will never bring my DSLR again. Kenna scolded for playing with it during other people's presentation, Ansar laugh like one kind like that. I just realised that though i was forced into classes i didn't select, this class is rather sweet. Some pretty cool people in it. Made it a pretty enjoyable semester. Though I really really really miss being in the same class as Serena & Jeanette. Its okay though, next sem i'll see if i can hook up the same timetable as theirs.

Ansar!!!!! Kai's sister ahahaha

Mel and Fel

One more presentation tomorrow, CATS. By the end of this week, i would be done with every single presentation. All thats left would be the final exams. Super frighten of Bstats, its going to be 70% for me cause i failed to attend one test, smart move huh...

Popped by Zara at great world last evening, got my last minute formal presentation shirt. 90 bucks -.- but it fits wonderfully fine; length and all, hard to find something like that around.

So i waited for Vannessa to finish her project somewhere around town, 4 hours, i sat at Starbucks reading the papers, doing work on my notebook. I felt so... adult like. Paced through bookshelves of the bookstore and found my fingers tracing along titles. Picked out something that caught my attention "This dairy will change your life in 2009". A atrociously bold, funny book. The book attempts to change your way of life by having you participate in funny, crazy ideas every week.

They set your new year's resolution with the likes of "Master the AK47" or "Bring a true Nazi to justice" or something to do with the US secretary, i forgot really. But it's not all nonsense, a interesting browse.

I didn't really mind waiting for her during that time, kinda gave myself a break from everything else too. Nice cupa coffee, watching the world move along as you stay stagnant. And of course, i didn't mind waiting cause i'd be able to see her in the end..

I really love to see rain falling and streaming on glass, my kinda thing i guess. Especially when its sun and rain.

2009-02-03T18:29:00.006+08:00

The epic battle between Kit and Yeti
Hehe
There I was, frolicking through the meadows. I entered a massive forest, with trees growing various sweets and lollipops. My eyes opened in amazement, curiosity begged and I entered cautiously; afraid of the lollipops falling once they were ripe. The adult sized ones were quite huge actually. Suddenly, a large shadow caught my attention.
Boom! And I lost sight of everything around me. When I came around, I was hanging upside down in some wet cave. There was a fire burning with a cooking pot set loosely above it. There seemed to be some sort of broth in it. I couldn't have been out long, the sun was still up. A familiar voice caught my attention, “hello Kit, it’s been awhile.” A large troll sized thing covered with a monumental amount of fur was stand right in front of me. It reached into its pocket, pulled out a light saber and shaved its hairy face.
The sight stunned me, gasping for words; I only managed to utter “Hello Vannessa”
OKAY LA I’M VERY BORED I DON’T WANT TO WRITE ANYMORE

I’m a very lousy writer…

Anyway I have this exam tomorrow, OBSE. So I'm stuck home studying. Didn't go to school today though, freakishly tired.

Oh and my CATS groups is doing this survey. Hope you can help =) Anyone can do it, please help!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=NmQ8Hs4ld5Yj61yqtinAyg_3d_3d

Alright, time to wait for Vannessa and then i have to continue studying, I cannot fail, else i'd retain a semester. Already failed one module last sem. Okay time for the stress to kick in. Thursday and Friday another 2 final presentations. The Monday one went well though.

2009-01-30T23:56:00.002+08:00

Well congrats to all Olevel students who made it to their choice/s.

To all new Business Studies students. Get ready for shit. Its not as easy as it seems. But maybe its just me, okay i think its just me.

Poly is gonna be fun at the start. Wait till your finals, if you procrastinate like i do, you'd end up with sleepless nights and stress management issues. Don't even start on Mass Comm, Vannessa's gonna throw me at some corner to rot while she does her work la. It has always been like that, if i know her well, which i think i do, she doesnt like to leave work undone. She would do her work first, and do whatever else later. I'm the other way round, I love to focus on everything else other than my papers. Bite the pen, play with my hair, rub my armpits with cheese.

Oh well, just wanted to say goodluck to the new kids.

You're going to regret your decision into BS :)

2009-01-29T12:16:00.002+08:00

Yes! I got an A+ for my Humanitarian Oral Presentation. My first A+ ever. Very very happy; was beaming infront the the teacher. Her compliments were very nice.

Okay so now i'm in my macroeconomics class, i failed the second test. But i passed overall by a few marks, so i don't have to sit for the re-test. Though if i fail my final test, i would be expelled. Now im starting to feel the excitement. My poly run could end in a month or two. Oh well, i just have to study. I should be okay, i hope.

I didn't really enjoy Chinese New Year due to the monumental amount of work need to be done. I feared i couldnt make datelines because final presentations were right after. It wasnt nice having this bugging feeling buried in the corner of your thoughts, and you are forced to go places, taking away precious time. After last night i thought everything was over, but there's still a lot to be done. CATS, ITB, OBSE paper next week. Sigh. Can't wait for holidays.

2009-01-22T20:57:00.004+08:00

Hello fellow inhabitants of this planet.

I know i havent been blogging lately; a week after my birthday to be exact. But i've been extremely busy and i didnt even have the time to run personal errands or entertain myself with games and reading and rubbing wax on my armpits and stuff like that.. So now my girlfriend is strangling me because she thinks that i don't care about her-.- She's extremely violent and abusive. She takes pleasure in slapping my face continuously and pinching my skin. She likes to throw the American Football at my face with force and it always ends with a sadistic grin on her face.

Okay so anyway,

i don't think i can beat Vannessa's post on my birthday. So you should probably head down to pickmeadaisy.blogspot.com to read it instead. Its not that im lazy, i just don't wanna seem like a loser lousy writer boyfriend.

Also, 2 days ago was our 8th month and we went down to Blooie's at science park to have good food and drinks. It feels funny i can officially buy drinks now so we had a Lychee Martini and a Sex on the beach. Guess who had what.

Anyway, most importantly im just happy that even though its been 8 months, which may seem like a short period of time to some people. To me it has, so far, been a rollercoaster ride. And i love being on the rollercoaster. On the edge of the seat, jumpy, screaming.. in a good way. I wish i could sit on the ride forever.

Lastly im still holding on to quite a number of pictures and i have not posted the NY photos so i will do so soon. Right after i finish all the bloody projects. Oh today's presentation went okay, i was very very nervous. Which is unlike me but i don't know why im really afraid of this class. I guess its because all my best friends aren't around. Though there are quite a number of nice people there. Can't wait for flag footbal tomorrow. I think their finally putting J.D and me in the same team.

2009-01-14T23:33:00.004+08:00

Huaaa...

My Birthday falls in 20 minutes. I wonder what it'll feel like to be 18. Maybe i'll have an epiphany. I don't even know whats happening tmr. Oh well, leave it up to fate.

I'll probably be celebrating properly on Saturday night. I'll decide how to do it tmr.

18.

That number never felt bigger or more important.

2009-01-13T00:48:00.002+08:00

So how were your O'levels peeps?

Wasn't it a nice kick in the head =)

2009-01-12T09:51:00.012+08:00

Its nice seeing familiar faces again...

Last Friday was Shianshun's Birthday and Sat was Boonkeong's. Celebrated around town, john,acy,joel and I went drinking and played "I never" which is the dumb-est game i always lose. Ran after last buses like crazy mad men cause we were all red and tipsy.

3 days later to my 18th. I think i really dont wanna celebrate. As in, no bbq or whatever. I'm too tired to organise something of calibre and find no reason to. Sitting down along west coast with a can of beer is enough, better a blass of wine or champange. I think i'd do that. And go down to register for driving. =) Weekend definitely club somewhere.

2009-01-06T10:08:00.003+08:00

9 more days i still havent planned.

An hour late for school. Left with half an hour of lesson. After this i think i'm going home to sleep, maybe complete some work which is due tomorrow. Bstats test on Monday, bad start to the birthday week. Hermy went into Army today, hope he does fine. What am i talking about he's going to die. Confirm one, i mean he dance a little and he already complain he need to sit -.-

I am very hungry. I didnt really eat much yesterday i think, i ate Shilin chicken, drank a cup of bubble tea and ate a little bit of rice with curry for dinner. Can't compare to how much i ate in the States. Every meal involves beef and dinners are steak and steak only. Whatever size from 9 oz to 20 oz or 16 oz i forgot. Anyway...

1st Singapore Tattoo Convention

Friday January 9, 2009 - Sunday January 11, 2009

From 11:00am - 9:00pm

Expo Hall 6B.

Its a 3 day event with live performances and such.

Guest Host Chris Garver from Miami Ink.

I heard Garver will ink the winner of some contest. That guy'll be some lucky chap.

I'm not sure if i can find the time to attend. Maybe on sunday... It'll be nice to see Asia's finest work.

2009-01-05T10:29:00.004+08:00

10.

10 more days till my eighteenth. I don't really feel like celebrating anymore. Maybe because it doesn't seem like such a big issue once its approaching. Or maybe because i don't know how to celebrate it. Maybe i really shouldn't do anything on that day itself. Or i can run 18 year old errands myself! Go down to the driving centre and register or maybe watch a M18 movie -.-

Sit at home with chips and rent dvds. Speaking of dvds. I owe VideoEzy $100. I held friends for too long and they say i've bought it... seriously. I'm going to call them today and clear this. I can't possibly return a dvd while overseas. A hundred stupid dollars.

I don't feel like much today. Everythings in a mess, my room is in a mess, i'm not ready for school, im not ready for anything... I've only had 1 day to prepare, 1 day to unpack, 1 day to get ready for 2009.

I think my parents made the worst decision going overseas all the way before Christmas till after the New Year. They were too ambitious. Now the whole house is going crazy. My brother and both my parents are sick, i'm still suffering from jetlag from States cause i did sleep properly in Hongkong. My sister too i think. There isn't any food in the house, i only had one meal yesterday. This morning my dad was near barking at me when he asked me whether i was going on his car to school, i dont know why but they were all in a bad mood, my mum gave me a look and kept quiet the whole time. She didnt go to work.

Well, so much for the year end holiday. What a fucking waste.

Oh did i mention i saw Jay Chou at the Factory Outlet in NY? Like 4/3 metres away from me.

2009-01-03T01:48:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday Mr. Ang Chengyong =D

My best friend for years now. I'm glad you're around. I'm glad you screwed up all your exams and ended with up with us. You were a smart kid. You WERE. ahaha we'll talk more when i see you for supper? Sorry I can't make it to your dinner. I'll make it up to you? I know the perfect gift ;)

Hope you and your girlfriend will stay happy together.

Other important people's birthday are coming up too,

Hermy's, Shianshun's, BoonKeong's, Kai's, Kit's , (grandfather's..), Grandmother's, Dad's, Jerrold's. Another January packed with fun events.

I'll be back in Singapore today. I've been terribly homesick. Touchdown at estimated 6pm.

Oh and my friend from NUM, Joash is on HeyGorgeous representing NgeeAnn I've never watched it before but i think its this beauty pageant on Channel U, we should vote for him! Before i left i remembered he asked me to get True Religion's for him. Sorry man, a little too expensive =/ even in America. Anyway good luck with your competition!

2008-12-31T11:15:00.011+08:00

Its the last day of the year

Everyone wants to be with the people they love.

I feel sad for the many people who are deprived of it.

Anyway, i want to recall a few the important things that happened this year. In sequence,

1. O level results

2. Got into NgeeAnn's Business studies

3. Started working in NewUrbanMale.com

4. Made a lot of new friends. A few closer ones

5. Got back together with Vannessa, my long time lover after a hiatus.

6. Travelled to Australia and did quite some cool stuff.

7. My Granddad passed away.. i watched as he did.

8. First time i saw someone dying infront of me

9. First time i cried so much. I usually almost never cry.

10. Quit NewUrbanMale.com

11. Started second semester of school

12. New Blog

13. Bought DSLR camera

14. Tavel to USA to stay and shop

15. And then to HongKong which is where i am now to shop somemore

16. Spend New Year away from Singapore.

17. I've never loved anyone more.

Of course its actually more eventful then this but i tend to forget nowadays. I'm in a very big mess because i miss a particular someone quite a bit. I'll put stuff down when i remember or when friends remind me. Of course there are a few things i cannot put on blogs la, i've learn to be more ... unopened? Is that the word? Because somethings are better left unsaid. You cannot let someone else know you so well, it'll be intimidating wouldn't it?

I think i'm still open with stuff but not as much at when i used to blog at bleached-valentine.blogspot.com. Its still me here though, less the jokes and insults and gossip and vulgarities. Well a little less vulgar only.

To: Chengyong, Joel, Jerrold, Shianshun, Jonathan.

Fuck you all. I come back then celebrate with you. This year has been damn nice with you guys. We've done things we don't usually do, no not ... gay sex. But like running around to places we've never been to, sitting in the middle of nowhere drinking. Though sometimes we aren't there for each other because we all have our commitments. Especially Jerrold, your devotion to your girlfriend is very much astounding. Don't throw your friends aside next year, we don't feel good. Remember last time in secondary school when we asked you to go out you'd always say you can't because of your parents. Now that you can you spend it all with Jiahui -.- I know i got no right to say this la, she might get angry. But please have some consideration for our friendship alright? We won't always be around. Anyway, you guys have helped me through a lot this year and in the past too. We got into trouble tgt in and out of school and it was shit fun.

We're all turning 18 pretty quick next year, you all know how much we'll havoc then.

Thanks for being there =) Happy New Year you bags of shit.

To: Serena & Jeanette

My best Poly buddies! Because i hang out with 2 girls ppl might think i'm gay. But i dont really care cause we're worth alot more? First year tgt and we havoc quite a bit already, drinking before we go into class, drinking along clark quay, drinking... why does everything revolve around drinking? Oh and we skipped class and helped each other study and you guys were always there for me, for all my problems. Even now when i'm in a different class you guys still hang out with me. Thanks so much for being around =) Its not even been a year, and we're not 18 yet. Can't wait to spend next year with you guys.

To: Adam, Fauzi, Hermy

Thanks for bringing me around to have fun =) Next year i can do it properly and we can party a lot more. But Army might be in the way so i cannot be to presumptuous.

Happy New Year guys

To: Vannessa

Thank god for you. I never knew what i was missing till the day we got together, 20th May. That day under the same tree. Followed by days we spend along the coast, nights next to the pool. Days like these make me feel happy. I've never been closer to anyone else, never so open and so intimate. I miss you. Even now here in Hong Kong, I spend my time thinking about you. Everyone keeps saying 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'. Bullshit, i never want to be apart from you for this long ever again. At least you can spend time with you friends or do work to try and forget about me. I can't, everywhere i go i wonder what it would be like to have you here.

I know i'm a psycho boyfriend like you said. Maybe because i worry too much, i'm those typical psycho boyfriends you hear on the news or read in magazines.

I promise i'll return back to normal when i get home to see you again.

This year has been so much brighter than any other because of you. I can't afford to lose this, ever.

Even though its not even a year since we've been together, we've been through quite a bit. I love looking back at pictures of us. There's this one which i never really noticed, the details, but when i saw it i laughed, i'll tell you about it when i get back, remind me.

Okay what i really want to say is, i want to get to 2010 with you. I want us to celebrate everything we missed out on this year, next year. I really miss you, maybe next year we can finally go overseas tgt? Plus would be able to drive! Means no more cabbing, do you think we've spent more than $500 or a thousand on cab rides this year? Oh well, when i get home, we can just lie down and forget the rest of the world like we usually do? or would it be different, after this absence and hiatus. I hope not, if it does make the heart grow fonder.

Alright i'll stop talking crap.

What matters is that I've never had a relationship like this, its the most intimate and actually the longest i've been in. I just know it'll turn out better than ever.

This... is just the beginning... right?... Love?.. its just the.. beginning of something so much more.

Anyway, A very Happy New Year to everyone =)

It didnt feel like such a long time ago when everything was so different...

2008-12-29T21:57:00.000+08:00

Alrightt.... I'll be flying to Hong Kong in a few hours. Another 15 hour journey. Bloody hell...

2008-12-28T15:51:00.004+08:00

Its raining here in Jersey...

2008-12-26T14:46:00.007+08:00

Happy 17th Birthday Vannessa!

You're another year older.

From now till 15th Jan we can say we're of the same age =) Bet you've been waiting for that.

Can't wait to see you when i get home.

I love you.

Time to stop being childish

Continue being you.

and its time to cross another road.

and try your best to make it to the otherside.

2008-12-25T22:51:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas to everyone =)

To everyone who i can't see this year, Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year

Though here in the States... it doesnt feel like Christmas at all...

2008-12-20T15:14:00.016+08:00

So I’m in this little house along Browertown Road in New Jersey, looking out the dark window on my right watching snow petals flicker along the glass. A cozy warm house with orange lights; it feels peaceful. I landed only about 2 hours ago. I can make a photo journal accounting the trip today/night.

December 19th 8.00am

.
Vannessa came over to follow us to the airport where she said goodbye. I know it’ll only be for 2 weeks but I don’t understand why being away for this period makes me feel so messed up and confused inside. I guess it’s because I’m so used to having her around and that I really, really with the bottom of my heart, wished that she was here. We could be lying down in the snow and stuffing it into our faces, laughing and shivering in embrace. Take long walks and watch the condensed smoke leave our lips. Well, even though she’s not here to share this with me, it’s certainly something to look forward to, it really is.

December 19th approximately 10.40am

We left, I was supposed to be the one walking away, occasional turns, disappear into an angle she could not catch. But I walked back after awhile wanting to see her face for one last time, but i only saw her walking away towards the exit, wondering if she felt the same way…

From there we went onto the plane to Hong Kong. We were the last to board and I think kinda held the plane back a little.

It was a short ride but I hated the plane. Landed and went to transit.

HongKong's Airport

We walked a lot, sat at Starbucks to have some coffee, preparing for the long ride ahead, dreading it.

I don’t really like flying for long distances, 15 to 16 hours of sitting in a chair facing a screen which really isn’t entertaining at all. Can people who are claustrophobic sit on planes? But then again looking out the view is so, so beautiful it may cause epiphanies

Anyway we boarded and I came across a most peculiar sight which really amused/interested me.

A no smoking sign next to a smoking tray on the airplane

Sorry the picture a little blured out but its the type of pull-out trays. So i meant it means that you can smoke there right? right?

Wait i just found another perculiar sight

The pilot announced that we will be delayed because of the heavy traffic flying/taxi-ing into the JFK. We had to fly above the Big Apple for 40mins before we were able to land. After that we had to wait for the plane occupying our lot for another 20 bloody long minutes. That’s not the end of it, when we alighted there was a freakishly long “Visitors” queue while the “Natives” queue was empty. So we waited another hour or more to stand at the front of the line when I noticed that there were only about 6 or 7 lanes open out of about 15 or 18. So all in all the ETA was supposed to be at 7.20. We left JFK after 10…

After which our cousins were kind enough to drive us back to their place.

In the car

My Aunt Tracy

It was nice Skyping with Vannessa, it felt like days since I last saw her, it was in the afternoon in Singapore and past midnight here in NJ. Also she just left for Bangkok… stay safe. These 2 weeks are going to be long after all… I miss you.

So here I am, December 20th 2008 2.46am NY/NJ time, 3.46 Singapore time.

Oh and Macy's is nearby, might go there tmr.

Lastly, even though i've only had my camera for a day, it seems like i'm starting to get the hang of it.

What a mother of a long day…

December 20th... Happy 7th month Vannessa =) can't wait to see you. Love you.

2008-12-19T00:11:00.006+08:00

3,2,1 liftoff...

I GOT A NEW DSLR CAMERA TODAY!!! Its the Nikon D60. I can finally take good photos! Just nice since i'm going to USA today.

Today, i heard from my maid that an old woman jumped off my block today. Sending Vannessa home led me to see a puddle of blood dripping into the drain. It was quite a sight...

Anyway, i'll be leaving for Newyork/Hongkong in a few hours. It means that i won't see anyone till next year. So till then Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I'll try to update from the US. I've got to continue packing my bag now. I havent started =/

Got to rush!

2008-12-15T22:43:00.004+08:00

I've started packing.

2008-12-14T04:56:00.002+08:00

Today i woke up at 3pm. And caught Bolt with a few old friends. It was charming in its own way. After that i went to Gardens to pick up gf as usual.

I can't believe how fast time goes by. We're at the end of another year. I'm really scared, i've said it before like a hundred times. What if time goes by so quickly, we miss out on everything. I believe we should stop and smell the roses. Roses right? or is it another flower? Alah all the same. I can picture flipping/tearing paper calendars. Scary thought.

Speaking of time passing by...

2008-12-13T01:20:00.000+08:00

Yes exams are all done. Time to PARTY

2008-12-12T02:36:00.003+08:00

Today is last paper day =DDD

Which means one whole week of fun before i leave la.

I must have a list of things to do for the whole week. Something like,

Spend as much time with girlfriend/friends as humanly possible.
Pre-celebrate Christmas/New Year with everyone.
Pack for trip
Finish 'Friends' so that i can return to Video Ezy and stop that stupid $2/day fine.
Good question, i don't know, bum around and relax.
Oh figure out what to really buy in states, must go prepared.
Party.
Finish that bloody final paper first.

Well, i should sleep, tomorrow's paper is going to be a disaster, I'm sure of it.

8 . 7

2008-12-10T00:19:00.012+08:00

Broken

The broken clock is a comfort,

it helps me sleep tonight

Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time

I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts

I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain there is healing

In your name I find meaning

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain is the healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day

Just to see what you will throw my way

And I'm hangin' on to the words you say

You said that I will, be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone

I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home

2008-12-09T00:40:00.001+08:00

Well, the countdown begins...
10.

2008-12-08T15:39:00.001+08:00

I wake up at 3pm. Thought about what you wrote.

It's still the same.

Because all in all, i make you feel empty.

You have no idea how much its killing me now.

2008-12-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

Of all the times, this was one of the deepest cuts.

Never have I literally had to fight back tears.

2008-12-06T18:57:00.002+08:00

Bstats common test is over. I spend 2 hours preparing for the test in school this morning. Well, it was futile. I'm pretty sure i failed.

Though on a lighter note, 2 papers left before holidays. Which reminds me, i have exactly 13 days left before i leave for states. And it'll already be 2009 by the time i'm back.

2008-12-02T21:42:00.002+08:00

I just received another letter from NgeeAnn. Its a reminder for me to study hard and also to tell me that if i fail macroeconomics again, i will be dismissed from school.

Anyway today i studied with Serena at HollandV. I'm starting to go into study mood which is good. But then again i can't wait for the holidays to come. Though its kinda saddening, it being the end of year and all.

As most of you have already noticed, we're in the last month of 2008. And in this last 2 months or so, MM Lee went into some cardiac surgery, 400 people in Nigeria died due to the Muslim vs Christian war. HIV numbers shot up, bombing and killing in India and Bangkok has thousands of protesters. What a way to end the year off huh. Some time back we had the tsunami which fell on the 26th of December; Vannessa's birthday. If you notice, we always seem to have constant problems arising around the world. It affects everyone. Yet, most of us choose to do nothing about it. Well, i know i don't. Then again, we tend to forget all that's happening around us as we usher in a new year. We're all so busy getting gifts and presents, so busy organising parties, attending Zoukout, spending time with loved ones, that we all forget all the negative events surrounding us.

And at the end of it all, we stand smiling like idiots, staring at a ticking clock and counting down the last 10 seconds before we grab the person closest to us and lock ourselves in tight embrace.

When it gets to that point, i bet everything else wouldn't matter.

It won't matter.

2008-11-29T17:57:00.002+08:00

I know I've been lazy. Blogging wise. I used to blog differently but i have the perfect excuse; its been bloody hectic. Common tests are arriving in a week and i have had quite a number of presentations to clear. Anyway on to blogging...

Vannessa is working at gardens till 1am today. I intend to go down and fetch her home =)

Well next week is e-learning and that means no school. Week after is common tests and right after that is my holiday which i will be spending all of it in New York. Ever since people knew i was going there, they've been asking me to get stuff for them like non stop. I've only got so much space in my luggage. Please don't be so presumptuous. I'll only get it for you if i see fit.

I'm turning 18 soon and i still don't know how i should celebrate it...

2008-11-26T09:45:00.002+08:00

I just finished one presentation. There is another on friday. I think i'm doing well considering all the last minute work.

2008-11-24T09:17:00.002+08:00

I'm rather amazed at myself for not turning on the computer at home the whole of the previous week. Thus i didn't update my blog. I was deeply engrossed in a book i once read a long time ago. And i quite happy i managed to finish 2 enormously thick books within a week. Today i'm going down with Vannessa to Kino to get the third book in the Inheritance series. Can't wait. Do i seem like the type who reads???

The rest of last week was spent rushing datelines for projects. Which i still have to continue due to 2 presentations this week. On thursday i attended a long time family friend's birthday. It has always been nice reminiscing with Kaimin the past and history we have. We sometimes fall into uncontrollable laughing fits as we constantly picked on my sister.

Thurday was also Vannessa and my 6 months. I couldn't spend the whole day with her because my mother said that i should spare a thought for people and attend this party. I want to its just that i've never been so serious with someone it seemed just as important i give her my attention as well. But what is done is done. I enjoyed his dinner party and i am starting to feel my parents becoming less understanding.

Friday, Kaimin's family, my family, Vannessa and I went on a yacht to the bay of St John's island. I always get excited when we sail at sea, a series of questions always pop out about the water under us. Like, "what do you think is under there?" or "What if i fall over?" "Do you think there are sharks?".

This time I ask, " Oi dad, how much does it cost for a yacht like this?"

While looking around and surveying the wood works he replied

" Oh... Probably around 1.5 million"

o.o

It was especially calm and warming to sit next to Vannessa at the front, watching the approaching islands and wind brushing through our hair. We contemplated chartering the boat for ourselves one day and Dad agreed to it.

Many other things happened this week.

But it would have to wait till another time.

2008-11-16T23:04:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the 100th day since granddad passed away.

I still miss him.

Had prayers and i was off to football competition at redhill. Late and lost i reached after they played 2 matches. We went close to winning a hundred bucks but i guess it just didn't matter because SweeLee was closing at 7.30pm. So Jonathan, Joel and I went on as Chengyong went home cause he felt sick. Reach aprox 10mins before they closed and bought a beginner's guitar for Jon. On the way home i got a message and realised i had work to do. But i went on with the guitaring session anyway.

So i sacrificed the whole of my Sunday sitting down here at my dining table. Giving my best attempt to finish up whatever I have. Taking occasionaly breaks to the balcony to rest and look out into the open greenery. Putting on Vannessa's headphones and lose concentration for a few seconds to the music. Its though, this subject, i don't know why i'm doing it too... IT in business. Okay actually i admit it helps. But i'm so damn tired from yesterday i am going to hate this subject even if it made me a million dollars. I mean i'm slouching now and i can't look at the screen properly. My eyes are fluttering shut and i don't know what to do for tomorrow's presentation. Much less what to wear. The consequence of missing school last monday haunts me the week after...

2008-11-11T10:16:00.008+08:00

and you drive... and you drive...

I woke up yesterday after a dream with my granddad. He asked me how i was, smiled, put his hand on my face and I woke up to a ringing phone

It was a nice dream...

I seriously cannot wait to go to the states. Not for the sightseeing and what not, but for the shopping. I hope the recession hits hard for the US, all the exchange rates will go down and if the government follows the fiscal policy they will greatly reduce taxes and everything.

Things i want/need/intend to buy from the US and HongKong includes -

At least 5 pairs of jeans from G-star, true religion and levi's.

Tops from american apparel and .. actually not a lot of tops there...

Pouches and wallets from Prada =D

Few sporting goods from addidas and nike.

I'm already getting excited while typing all these down.

I'll be damn sad if i can't find fitting stuff. I'm not really in it for the brand, i just like some designs and i really hope i can find something nice.

On Saturday, Johnathan and I acted like tourists from Hong kong to this sales person and it was damn funny i laughed nonstop and was giggling at the part where we both looked at each other deciding how much is 12 singapore dollars.

We finished Lost season 4, can't wait for season 5. Lost to me is one of the best TV series ever.

And in 2 mths 4 days, i'll be 18. Its such a big number...

2008-11-07T00:19:00.002+08:00

I've got a number of stuff on my mind, but i guess sometimes, somethings shouldn't be mentioned at all...